Where is Ashcroft ski touring area?

It is 11 miles west of Aspen, Colorado, in the White River National Forest. Elevation 9,750 feet.

How do I get to Ashcroft Ski touring area?

Go up Castle Creek Road until the road ends. Park your car and follow many of the different marked trails.

What does Ashcroft Ski area have to offer?

2 warming huts, a ghost town (Ashcroft), an art gallery open during the summer, Pine Creek cook house a gourmet restaurant open for lunch, dinner and drinks. Horse drawn carriage, Groomed trail

6 cross country (Nordic) ski trails ranging from easy to difficult.  Some trails can accommodate walkers or snowshoes.

This scenic ski area offers families a wonderful day of activities in the outdoors.  One of the ski trails goes along a babbling brook adorned on each side with beautiful pines and aspens.

We have visited the area on many occasions with our children and many people visit the area with or without children.  The restaurant has options available for families, but be warned that the wait staff is never very good.

Day passes are required and reservations strongly recommended. 970-925-1971

Heidi Ahrens

Share your stories about your favorite skiing destination on Outdoorbaby.net

Outdoor Baby of the Month
SnuggBugg Baby wants to see your little adventurers enjoying the outdoors! Send your pics to kati@snuggbuggbaby.com. Our photo contest winner will receive a $25 gift certificate to SnuggBugg Baby and be posted on the website for that month. The deadline for April Baby of the Month is April 7, 2010.

To enter visit:  SnuggBuggBaby.com

Travel: The February 28^th, 2010 New York Times Travel section talked about winter getaways. Looking at the frugal Travel section, I wondered if we are still in a recession. Who can afford these kinds of trips?

Learning:  An Upper Michigan source releases an article about women who brave the cold to learn new activities  and how women can learn to love the outdoors 

School: Schools are thinking of integrating bicycle riding into their transportation plans; read the article

Guns and Parks: Loaded  guns  will be allowed in national parks as reported in the Seattle times

Terrible Title:  Place for outdoor hobbyist.  This article in the New York Times is just about one kind of outdoor activity and not many.  

Heidi Ahrens

Log on and share your outdoor news on OutdoorBaby.net. It's Free!

Do you have suggestions for families who choose your kind of parenting, but are constantly surrounded by parents who parent another way?  It becomes, for parents, really hard to always justify what they are doing, you know, in a world that sometimes doesn’t support that view. It sometimes feels like you always hit road blocks along the way.

I do counseling by phone internationally and this is one of the most common questions.  A lot of parents who want to do it naturally, to unschool, to co-sleep and not expose them to candy, or media, or movies, find that the moment they mingle with other kids, there’s a lot of seduction in the other direction. I was in the same boat with my children.  Some of my clients have moved out of the city under this influence of mine.  When they live in the city, it’s really hard because the influences are in the neighborhood, and it’s city living.  In the country, it’s a little easier.  Especially if you are living on a few acres and the neighbor is not within walking distance for a five year old.  I really recommend to choose your own little group.  A child doesn’t really need more than one good friend.  It’s not like you need a whole community.  You need to get in touch with the parents, that one family that clicks.  And, if that means that you have to move, you move.  We have done that.  We’ve moved a few times because of our children, because of social and now because of educational reasons.  We’re just like families that move because the man has a new job somewhere; why not move because your child has a new job, so to speak?  You know, engagement, interest, friends.  So, I would do anything for my children, to make sure that their social environment is supported.  And, one way even in the city, that I recommend, is to take the initiative.  Some  parents tell you – oh come on, let them eat some candy, oh come on, let them watch one TV show, it’s not going to hurt them -- you know, kind of patronizing and trivializing the whole thing.  What I find is that those parents, when that parent calls me, it turns out deep inside that they would love to do the same thing.  They think, you know, it’s like you bring your child and you succumb, and you let your child have a little candy because you don’t want to offend the other parent.  Or, you’re at their house and you watch some cartoons and say – okay, I won’t raise my voice, I won’t make waves.  Or, a group of homeschoolers even get together in the park, outdoors, are wonderful but the parents bring some, you know, games, technical kind of games, like the GameBoy, or some other nonsense, or candy or whatever… and you don’t say anything because of the pressure -- I don’t want to look bad; I don’t want to lose all my friends; I don’t want them to identify my child as a freak and not treat them equally.  So, we kind of fall for it.  And, I say – don’t fall for it.  Because the other parent may be falling for it too, thinking that you’re putting on the pressure.  They don’t know.  Everybody is just like in the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes.  Everybody thinks that everybody else thinks that the king is dressed.  So, everybody is not saying anything.  But, it’s very likely that if you said to a few people of the group that you think, or that you sense… and sometimes you can’t even sense it… that may really appreciate knowing more about this food or this game.  And, they want to do better, but they don’t dare because of you!  Because you’re not daring, they think you’re endorsing it.  So, I encourage people to tell the truth.  I encourage people to put flyers in the library and the health food store saying – we’re looking to connect with like parents, similar to us that would like to raise our kids like this … one person put a flyer that said – we’re looking for families unplugged.  Then they had a list.  Unplugged from TV, unplugged from computer, unplugged from candy, unplugged from cooked food… I mean, I don’t remember everything what they put in there, but they put their list and they got together.  They only found one other family in the end.  But that family and them became like twin families.  That’s all they needed.  So, put yourself out there.  Announce… instead of being shy about it… announce.  You may find that two other mothers are coming to you in the end and saying – you know what, me too.  I just didn’t dare because I thought everybody wants this.

And also, bring some articles.  Printed material about how bad sugar is, even in moderation.  It’s toxic.  Why toxicify our little children in moderation.  What’s the point?

It’s interesting because I live in a very forgiving community and open to different ideas.  And, even in a community like mine  you run into those kinds of… I don’t want to say ‘fights’ or kind of ‘conflicts’, and I find that my daughter  gets conflicting messages.  She is 3 ½ and she’s already fighting it.   We are thinking of un schooling and are continuously questioning main stream family practices.  She’s like – I want to go to school, I want to go on the school bus, I want new school supplies and all this stuff.  I appreciate that suggestion of always confronting those questions from parents when you’re out there because it will validate in my daughter our belief system. It will let her know that it’s okay to stand up for who you are and even if you’re different.  You make a really good point.

And, that will spread the word.  That’s will bring more parents into this.  But then, you find a few parents… make sure your daughter, for example, has friends that are planning to unschool.  Otherwise, she’ll want to go to school.  ‘Cause she’ll want to fit in.

Yeah.

Seriously.  And, I’ve seen parents move because of that.  It’s like let’s move next to these people who are going to unschool so that our child can have friends and other people who are going to unschool and get excited about that.  You know, I told my children from the beginning, shamelessly, I brain washed against school.  I wanted to make sure that they don’t want to do it.

So your children did not go to school?

Never.  Never crossed the threshold of a school other than to go and get the certification to go to college.

Did you follow curriculum or did you mostly un school?

No, unschooling.  But, unschooling in a nurturing environment; In a stimulating environment.  My children say to me that it’s not fair to say that we were unschooled, they think we need something better.  They meet a lot of unschoolers these days that they say are just, what they call kind of empty.  They haven’t been exposed or enriched in any way.  They were just sitting and watching TV and eating marshmallows.  Radical unschooling.  I don’t think that’s necessary.  I think it’s all right.  There’s an article of mine coming… I think it’s the one coming up.  Yes, it’s a very long conversation article coming in Natural Child Magazine.  In that, I talk about that particular aspect of unschooling.  Unschooling doesn’t have to be neglect.  And, it doesn’t have to be letting the children be influenced by the industry and making consumers out of them.  It doesn’t mean if you don’t control them, you just endorse that the industry controls them.  It’s not necessarily to do that.  And, it’s not necessary to raise them with no education at all.  But, you can do the education in a way that is not imposing.  My middle son just wrote for his application to the university – I was raised free to do as I wished, I could always do whatever I wanted.  He asked me to look through his essay that he wrote in his application and I was like – delighted to see his memories of his childhood and what he saw because yeah, they were free to do whatever they wanted and yet we created an environment that was intellectually and culturally stimulating.  So, that’s a part of their life, and it wasn’t license, it was freedom.  Not license.  It’s not like they could do whatever they want.  And, go eat junk food and go watch TV or go to the movies every afternoon.  They couldn’t do that.  Not because we forbade it, but because we created an environment that was not appreciative of that.  And, on the other hand, we created an environment that they loved, that was very cultured; like going to concerts, going to the science museum; like being interested in politics, philosophy, spirituality, nature.  So, it was part of our life.  We went for night walks in the dark to experience nature with no flash lights.  That’s one thing that is so safe living on an island -- that you can go out at midnight and walk in the forest.  So, we stimulated thinking.  We stimulated the arts a lot.  You know, classical music, art, theater, dance, all of that, we constantly exposed.  So, we weren’t passive, it’s just that we were not imposing which direction the child was actually diving deeper into.  That was their business.

Personally, the idea of  schooling at home, the philosophy and the reasons are all set  for our family, but it would be me taking on that responsibility of being with the children just because my husband has a job that he’s fulfilled in and that he loves.  So, it would be me.  But, the idea of spending day in and day out with my children all the time seems like a very daunting task.  You know, I’m doing it now, but I do it with the thought that it’s going to end at one point.  So, that’s the only thing that’s kind of holding me back and I’m just wondering if you have any suggestions about that.  It’s not that I want to work full time.  I don’t want to have a full time job.  But, I do like to be out there by myself doing things, just for me.

Yes.  And, I find that when the children are a little older, that happens naturally and the children become involved.  They’re for 2 hours in a rehearsal somewhere, or in some community garden that they all work together and you can go do your own thing.  And then it grows from there.  Then there’s friends that you can drop them off at.

Yeah, I just wanted to know your thoughts to try to motivate me to continue.  I think you have good points that the children are going to become older and that they…

They will be getting older and then it will gradually phase off.  But, if you have a hard time spending a lot of time with children, I would say take some phone sessions with me and I can help you be more happy with it, with the time that you do spend with them by investigating the thoughts inside of you that kind of get in the way and try to pull you to go do something by yourself.  Because raising children is the best thing that you can do for yourself.  You know, that’s why you gave birth to them.  You want to be with them, you want to enjoy it and it goes by so fast. But, at the same time, it does ease up.  Naturally.  It’s not the same.  When they’re really young, it’s constant.  They want food, you have to change diapers, you have to do this, you have to nurse, this one fell, this one crying, and it’s endless and constant.  And, also your children are very close in age together, which I don’t recommend in nuclear families.  If you want to have more children, give it some space so that you don’t have two together, since you don’t have the whole tribe to help you and to help them feel connections with other people.  So, it will be easier though with time.  And, also when children are free, they play by themselves eventually, you know, when they have a friend or they have each other when the baby is old enough. I found that I could write my book some days, not every day, but I could do some writing, some article, some piano playing that I used to do while my children were playing by themselves outside.  Or, inside in a rainy winter day, either way.  So, it does become easier.  Also  home schooling doesn’t mean that you can’t sometimes hire somebody to give you a break.  So, you could  hire an art teacher if they’re into art, or some adult to play with them for awhile.  My children did music and theater, so I would drop my son off for the rehearsal.  Or, I’d bring home some art with them so then that gives me a break.

This question of the nuclear family, it’s a modern question.  We did our best to separate ourselves from each other.  You know, I grew up in a country where most people lived in apartments and not in houses.  So, when I came to this country, I thought that life here was very lonely.  And, that raising children each in their own house, separate from the others, when you can’t just say to the neighbor – would you listen to my child, I have to go somewhere… when I was a child, my mother could just go somewhere and basically knock on the door of the neighbor and say – I’m leaving the kids, please pay attention, and leave.  It was that simple.  And, it was a one bedroom apartment, each apartment.  And, it was right there.  She knew.  And, she would tell me… if you have any problem, bang on the wall and Rachel will come.  I mean, literally, we could bang on the wall and their living room was on the other side of our bedroom.  So, it’s like… okay, bang on the wall, Rachel knows you’re by yourself and she’ll come if you need something or go knock on her door and go play with her children.  So, that, you know, when you grow up like that, life is a lot easier and the kids just play outside.  I like the movement of creating co-housing communities, like, in Washington State, where we have two green communities in Port Townsend -- a lot of them are homeschoolers and  have organic gardens in the middle and draw milk and have just a lot of good things in common.  I think that’s going to keep growing.  I always see advertisements from somebody -- for example, Romeo Nagel, who wrote Healing Our Children and Cure for Tooth Decay, just found a piece of land in Northern California that he wanted to share and create a community of living naturally with children.  So, that keeps happening and I hope more and more of that will happen and create a solution for people to have more tribal life because this nuclear family is part of why it’s difficult.  Because being alone with two young children is exhausting, and not fulfilling for the adult that you are in some ways.  Hiring a teenager to play with them is one of my suggestions.

No matter whether you are in nature or not in nature, growing up this way or that way, or even with school or without school; the child knows that they are worthy and the parents love them if relationships start with that responsiveness all the way from babyhood, and with knowing the child is right, and with a commitment to find why they need to do what they do.  Even when they do something that you have to stop them from doing, you still want to find  out why is she/he doing that?  What do I need to do to help them so that they wouldn’t have the drive to do it?  If a child hits their brother, they have a reason.  We need to find what is it that’s hurting them.  Why have they become out of control like that and then take care of it.  Not to punish the child.  Not to hurt them or scold them, but rather it’s our duty to find  out why. They have a reason.  Even stop them.  I’m not saying – ‘he’s right’ means go ahead and let them hurt someone or hurt themselves.  Of course you intervene.  Of course you help.  But, you come to help, not to scold or punish.  Your duty is to find the reason, the cause, the source, of why a child needs to do something.  So, you take that need away by meeting the actual needs that are not met.  By finding that compassionate connection.  And, that takes time and that takes being close to each other and responding naturally to the child.  Not manipulating them, but responding to them.  That’s what my book is about, that’s what my CDs cover and everything I do in my counseling, my speaking and my work.

It was a pleasure to share with you the work of Naomi Aldort.  If you have not read Part I of this interview please click on the provided link:  Part 1.

Heidi Ahrens

If you have stories on how your parenting strategies came in handy during one of your outdoor adventures, please share them with us on Outdoorbaby.net

OutdoorBaby.net interviewed Naomi Aldort on a cold winter day.  Since the conversation was inspiring and energizing, we decided to publish the entire interview.  Part 1 touches on basic parenting aspects and the importance of including nature in your children’s lives. Part 2 will cover schooling and un-schooling practices.  We hope you will be warmed up and revitalized as parents once you read these articles during this particularly cold winter.

Can you give me a summary of what you think a healthy family looks like and what healthy parenting looks like?

There is not just one healthy way, but love is the main ingredient.  We do not get any sway by trying to control.  For me, the word love includes simply being responsive in a loving way. I have a video on YouTube called “The Child is Right”.  When people ask me – should the child be doing this or that?  Isn’t it better if he does this?  I say – no, what’s better is that he does what he does and how you know where he should be and what he should do is by looking at him. If the baby wants to breastfeed, that tells you – yeah, you should breastfeed.  Healthy living is simply living in a way that’s a lot less stressful.  It’s peaceful.  It’s just live life and let it be.  Let it lead you.  Don’t fight against it.  In this culture, that’s easy to say, but it’s not so easy to do because the culture at large does exactly the opposite.  The whole culture is about:  how do I fight it and make it be about the way I want.  How do I train the child to sleep by themselves?  How do I wean them before they wean themselves?  How do I make them do chores?  How do I make them learn this?  How do I make the child say please and thank you?  What I teach goes contrary to all of that because I’m saying – let the child grow the way nature designed and just be the model because they want to be like you and they want to fit in.  Let them observe nature and observe you and observe connections and animals and living beings and see how it’s all connected and they come to their own wonderful conclusions and they don’t have a reason to go against anything because they didn’t experience an unhealthy relationship in which somebody goes against them.  You know, in school and in most parenting books and classes, they teach you a better way to make the child do what you want.  While I teach a better way for you to understand what the child needs and arrange life such that the child would want to do what’s best.  Children behave well on their own free will not because they’re coerced or manipulated.

When you started talking, you said there’s not one perfect way to parent.  To be a bit of the devil’s advocate, there are experts out there who would completely contradict what you just said.  How can we be open to other ways of parenting, yet feel like our way ( being outdoors or attachment parenting)  is the right way?

That’s a very good question. I think if a child feels love and connected to parents, then that particular detail is not as crucial as you may think.  You know, Einstein grew up in the city.  Charlie Chaplin grew up in the city.  He didn’t go to school because there was no money. He was working in the streets at age 8 with his brother selling newspapers.   Just being on concrete streets, no nature, no nothing.  Einstein had a better upbringing: well to do people, cultural and musical and scientific; but still, city living.  So, I stay away from saying in that sense that there has to be one way.  In terms of love and response to the child, the more you do that the better. I’ve become very tolerant because of the depth of my experiences.   I have seen people grow up in families that don’t do attachment parenting, but what they do, they do with so much love and conviction that the child gets it that they are loved.  So, the child may sleep in a separate bed, but the mom is there when the baby cries.  She picks him up.  They don’t know another way.  They don’t know they could sleep right next to mommy, but they do know – I’m loved.  So, in other words, I’m saying – let’s not be addicted and attached to the technicalities of what makes that love.  Because it just isn’t true.  I didn’t sleep with my parents and I turned out pretty good, and I’m a loving, sane person.  I’m a happy, capable parent and all that.  So, we need to be very flexible to allow different people their path.  I don’t endorse people hitting their children, but people who hit their children are doing it because they’re helpless and they don’t know another way.  So, when they call me and say  “ I’m hitting my child and I don’t want to do it” .  I help them work with themselves and getting to that place of love and that place of trusting, there’s nothing to be angry at the child, the child is doing what he’s supposed to do.  Which is why we have a long way to go to learn and to grow with our children.  Another healthy aspect of parenting and family is to keep learning.  I would say – yes, people who raise their children and don’t even try to learn and are sure they know, and do things that do harm, you know, we can’t go judge.  They are innocent.  They don’t know that they don’t know.

Also I’m reminded also of Leo Buscaglia, the author of the book Love and some other wonderful books.  A very loving leader in the area of human potential.  He said in one of his books on his own personal life, when asked where he grew up, how his parents acted with him, that he grew up in a traditional Italian family.  They were spanked, they were punished and with all that other old fashioned stuff.  And he said – you know, I don’t see the big harm; I knew my parents loved me;  we had an absolutely connected loving family;  I always knew that I was so important to them and that they loved me.  So, when I hear something like that from a man who is obviously so emotionally healthy and capable, it makes you really spread and be flexible and realize that the human capacity for feeling worthy and loved is much bigger than you think.

 It’s like children have an almost psychic ability to know that they are loved in spite of their parents mistakes. Each child is different.  You know, some adults I treat had relatively good lives and yet they have all these emotional problems because they saw it in a bigger way.  That’s where we also have to remember that we don’t have control.  There are a lot of things that are out of our hands and we do the best we can.  When you ask the question which  style of parenting is the right one, I don’t say this is the right one.  I say – love and responsiveness is what nourishes relationships and connections and that can be done in a variety of ways.

There are so many books and resources and websites dedicated to supporting families, why do you think that families need that much guidance, and why have parents have lost touch with what it means to be a parent?

  I don’t know that they have lost touch.  We don’t know that.  We weren’t there in the old days and I don’t know that parents had more good instincts, at least in the West.  I think in Aboriginal societies from reports that I read, and again, I can only know it from reading, there are some more natural instincts.  But, in the West, the instincts don’t look good when I look at history,  looking at how children were raised 200 years ago, 300 years ago, 100 years ago.  It wasn’t that great.  You can see through history, you know: the Inquisition and Nazism wouldn’t come out of good upbringing.  In many ways, it’s improving.  Actually, there is more respect for children.  There’s the International document of the Rights of the Child that only Somalia and the United States didn’t sign so far.

I don’t think there is a going downhill: I think there is a going uphill in parenting.  More and more understanding that children need to choose their own path and need to be respected.  There’s a deep return to more natural ways and attachment parenting and slings instead of strollers.  You see more and more parents holding their babies, nursing the babies.  So, all in all, I think we’re on an upward trend toward better parenting even though the numbers are not yet great.  But, they are growing.  You know, 20 years ago, women were not breastfeeding, and you wouldn’t see snugglies and slings around.  So, I think we’re going in the right direction.  That’s why we need the guidance; or why parents need the guidance is probably also due to their being out of touch for 1000s, or at least 100s, of years.  I have not investigated how long the harmful indoctrination has been around.  Definitely schooling didn’t help; taking children away from parents at a young age.  And, of course, our schools don’t teach parenting.  They teach all kinds of trivial irrelevant subjects that don’t do anything good for our life, like chemistry and history; instead of teaching psychology, parenting and the arts.  There are some alternative schools that do more of the arts and soften the blow.  But, I think the fact that there are many books is a sign of wanting to learn and wanting to improve, which is good.  Most of the books of course are not that helpful.  They are still on the same trend as the larger society.  But, in the middle there is Alfie Kohn, there is me, there are other people who are bringing in this new perspective of responding to nature, responding to the baby, to the child, to the teenager, rather than manipulating them.

Currently there’s a big movement underway to introduce children to the outdoors, almost monthly there’s a new website, a new product, new organizations that create websites or informational material, or gatherings to really motivate children to go outdoors.  Why do you think this trend is happening and why is it important? Do you feel that nature and outdoor activities offer children the opportunity to be more in tune with natural consequences?  Do you think that parents are less in tune themselves because they are more separate from nature?

 It’s kind of absurd that we have to make a program to be in nature.  I mean, we’re basically animals, beings that are supposed to grow up in nature. That is how we grow, that’s how we learn.  That’s how we learn consequences.  You know, what happens in the rain, in the snow, with an animal, when climbing, when things break, branches and plants.  So, I think being in touch with all of that is very vital for children.  Again, like I said before, they find their place in the world, their identity in the early years, through that connection with nature.  That’s why you see children a lot sitting in a sand pile, digging in the earth and climbing on trees.  I find in my counseling that when people live in the city, not in nature, and the children lack nature, the parents have a hard time with the children because it’s not the natural environment for the child.  They need the space.  They need to run.  They need to be on the earth with the fresh air and, with the sun.  I always say to these parents,–  “ Why don’t you go on vacation for a week?  Go camping or go to some cabin on the beach or in nature and see what happens”.   No exceptions; These parents come back from those vacations and say – … all the problems that I called you for… disappeared.  There were no problems.  And, you ask yourself – why does the child all of a sudden have no problems?  Of course, it’s also parenting… I’m not saying it’s the only thing. But for a moment all their problems disappear because the problems were just that they didn’t have the space and the connection that they needed in the first place.  Once they’re in nature, there’s no problem.  They’re not trapped in a house.  They’re not under stimulated. They’re not wondering what to do with their bodies.  In nature, they know what to do; To run, to dig, to see, to roll, to climb.  You know, it’s just so natural for them.  And, parents tell me that again and again and again.  It never surprises me anymore.

What do you think is good advice to give to parents who need to spend more time with their children?  Earlier you talked about how it’s not the specific aspect of spending time outdoors . Parents are spending less and less time with their children.  What would be advice to parents who say –  I just don’t have the time. How do we get these parents to be motivated to spend more time with their kids playing or discovering or asking questions, or spending time outdoors?

 It’s a political question too and, it’s a question related to all of society and to the women’s liberation movement.  My answer is not going to be fun for parents to hear.  I don’t want anybody hearing this to feel guilty because it’s not their fault, they don’t know.  They grew up into this climate and into this environment and culture.  But, ideally, parents should not have children unless they are really excited about having children and interested in making their life be about raising these children. It doesn’t mean making the child a center and not doing anything other than with the child.  It’s important to also live your life and for children to see that.  But, to not have enough time to meet the child’s basic need for a connection with a parent to me is not acceptable. The reason I say it’s not their fault and that it’s connected to the whole culture is because the whole culture… and this is a political thing… is that we’re all working more hours than we need to.  We’re all busy more than we need to be.  Because of the structure and the finances and the Federal Reserve and the government and how it’s all arranged.  You know, we’re being played with.

 And, the expectations that we put on ourselves. 

Let me be more specific. Specifically when parents call me and they say that they don’t have enough time, I actually help them make and have more time.  I help mothers stop working.  They don’t want to work.  That’s why I want to touch a little bit on women’s lib.  Women’s liberation didn’t liberate women.  As a mother, you don’t earn anything to do the hardest job on earth, raising children.  So, we haven’t become equal.  We’ve been fooled.  In fact, women’s liberation makes us even less equal psychologically, because we’re considered equal when we wear a suit and behave like men and work in the man’s world doing a job like men.  Which means, we are actually kind of saying that if we behave like men we’re equal, but when we’re a woman at home with a child, we’re not equal.  Can you see that?

Yeah, I read an article about that actually.  That the women’s liberation movement actually did a disservice to families,  and mother’s because it fought  for the equality of being treated like a man.  So we got to enter the work force but lost all family rights.  We work 12 hours a day and now we have preschools and daycares.

Yes, but it’s more than that.  According to some sources that I read it was intentional.  That the idea of women’s liberation was to collect double the tax and to separate the children from their mothers so that they could be more easily indoctrinated to be the consumers of the next generation.  So, it really didn’t make women equal, it just took them away from their womanhood into the man’s world.   I am just showing that as a culture, we have lost our women, in a way.  In order to be equal, we became more man.  Then, a lot of women who say that they have no time insist on working.  They want to work.  And, they live up to, again, politically dictated standards of life -- that without a second job they can’t survive.  So, what I do with parents is I work with them actually on their budget and lifestyle.  There are many families where both work to support a house that’s too big. They don’t need it.  There’s so much they don’t need.  And, there are all kinds of tricks.  You know, my family, we’re not rich.  And, I think we probably are in comparison to the majority of American families.  There’s probably $1000 a month in savings, just by making sensible decisions, like not buying anything in a plastic bottle for the bathrooms --no shampoos, no conditioners.  You know, it’s like there’s so much one can save when they discover that there is something that grows in nature that you can pluck and put as a shampoo or something for your skin.  Or, eating… you know, all these things can save so much.  I grew up in a country where, if you wanted to take a shower, 10 minutes before you went to the shower, you flipped a switch  to turn on the hot water just for that shower and turned it off when you’re done.  Or, we had another system where there was a gas thing right under the boiler, which was right there in the bathroom and you just turn it on, and heat turns it on when you turn the hot water on.  So, the fire is on, as long as you take a shower.  And, the boiler is so small so that all of it is just the amount you need.  And, you can shower as long as you want and it keeps heating it fast enough that you have hot water and when you turn it off, it’s over with.  So, we’re spending so much money keeping containers of hot water on… I hadn’t seen it before I came to the United States.  I find it bizarre -- what a waste.  And, there is solar in other countries, but we don’t use much solar energy.  All these containers of water can be on the roof in the sun.  This is a sunny country.  And, on and on and on.  There’s so much waste.  I’ve seen families living in New York and have such a happy life with fewer things.  With less technology.  With smaller space.  And with more love and more joy.  They’re on vacation.  And, I’ve seen families under my influence and without my influence who have quit working, both people, you know, got rid of everything and chose similar natural lives.  Grow their own food.  I’m not saying that everybody should do that.  Some people want to be classical musicians like my kids, or doctors, and they want the city influence and the cultural aspects.  Not everybody wants to be a farmer.  But, there are lots of options: even in the city I help people cut down their costs to what they think is something they can live with.  I see people who say they are poor who buy pizza on Sunday.  And, they go to the supermarket and their cart is full of ready made juices.  I say – you know, you can save $100 right there.  Juice your own oranges if you want juice.  And, juice is not that healthy anyways, it contains too much sugar.  But, if you want some juice, make it, instead of spending in this way.  Especially you should prioritize being with the children over all of those other luxuries.

I wanted to know what your thoughts are on technology and how the schooling system has affected children’s behavior and parents’ ability to relate to this.

We don’t have answers because it will be a few generations before we actually see what happens.  When we see a child sitting a lot and being in front of computers, our first reaction is to want to get that child out of there and put them in nature because that’s their true way of learning.  But, there’s also evolution and, what happens to the mind and how it affects the next generation.  I would say it will be 3 to 5 generations before we can have an idea of what would happen to humanity as a result of technology; what are the good aspects and what are the bad aspects. In spite of the fact that I did not let my children have computers and instead I sent them out to play in nature,  I also see teenagers and young adults that use computers a lot and make differences in a positive way.  But I  do want to qualify this: for the young age, I don’t recommend any of it. But, as they grow older, there’s no way to live in this society without the technology.  One good thing that I see is a change in their perspective on the world: when I grew up without technology, the world looked huge.  I could basically make an impact in my own family.  Or, as an adult a little bit in my community, in my class.  I look at my kids and they feel comfortable flying all over the world.  My 16 year old says – mom, you don’t have to come with me, I’m going to Switzerland, I’ll be fine.  And, there’s nobody picking him up, he needs to get off the plane, go find the train station and get on the train.  And, he’s not afraid of it.  He’s seen pictures.  He’s seen the map.  He can check where the train station is.  He can check what it looks like.  He’s been talking to people from different countries. Thats something that makes the world more friendly.

.

 The internet, especially, has in it a gift of connecting the whole world as a family.  I can see the potential, if we don’t kill ourselves before we get there, that it can even stop our wars. How can I kill somebody in another country when I just talked to them the day before.  You know, it becomes all one. I have a friend in Brazil, a friend in Korea…  My sons see themselves as making a difference.  They don’t feel like they couldn’t make a difference globally. One will bring joy to this world through music.  Or, my oldest son is an activist and he has plans to make a difference. It doesn’t look to them as undoable because they can just post their opinion online in a way that people see and they are affected.  They have power.  And, they have connection.  And, they are talking to other people from all over the world.  That is the positive part later on.  With young children, I still see the technology is robbing them from getting to know themselves. They need to get to know themselves in relationship to nature.  So, that’s where I am totally with you.  Because how a child builds that self image, is me with my mommy first, and my daddy, or my sister or brother.  I need to have them and us in relationship to the beach and the tree and the plant that’s growing and the food that’s growing, that then I’m eating and how it happens and the rain and all this connectedness to the whole.  It cannot come when I sit in front of the computer and have all this, you know, looking at illusions.

It’s really experiencing them.

Children  learn to experience through actually touching things and experiencing it in the body. That’s why I teach parents that if  you want your child to not run into the street, you grab them physically.  Do the same in other areas.  If you want your child to stop hitting the baby, don’t just say – don’t hit that hurts.  Actually either pick the baby up, or pick that child up and give them a hug and say – I see that you have had enough and are frustrated and find a solution.  So, it’s really important that they learn through their bodies; that’s how nature designed it.  And, they see and smell and touch and experience and climb the trees and pick up their lettuce and experience the animals.  So, it’s not just some supermarket package that they get, but they have some idea of where it comes from and have a connection to the earth.  But, that doesn’t guarantee that they would stay like that.   They may become like my kids who grew up with nature, but now as they grow older, all three of them find themselves in a lifestyle that’s more city and computers and that’s because that’s where the planet is going.  It’s just a question of timing.  I recommend for young ages no TV and no computers at all.  Again, I don’t like dogma, so if somebody calls me and says – we have them watch 15 minutes a day of something, it gives me a break; I don’t tell them to stop it.  But, I do tell them it’s not going to stay 15 minutes and it’s going to become a struggle.  So, it’s much easier to just not have that TV there.  And, it’s much easier if you must have a computer at home, have it on the furthest away room that you call an office, or if you don’t have an extra room, a den or a bedroom that you don’t really go in during the day.  It’s just there for mommy and daddy to go and check email and stuff.  It’s not some toy that you go to and start searching online. I definitely discourage young children being involved with media and technology because they need to be out also for their health.  To observe the sun, the fresh air and not to destroy their spines like the rest of us are doing, and their eyes and their imagination.  The other thing is that the TV shortens the span of attention: when a child watches TV, there brain is more numb than when they are asleep.  That has been scientifically measured.  They are so passive, it doesn’t matter how good the program is. If they are learning something about nature, I’d rather they’d look at a book, or go to nature itself.  But, if they are learning about nature in Africa, you know, you can look at the book. When TV keeps changing the picture very quickly, the brain gets used to this constant passive stimulation and dependency on that and on constant change.

It was a pleasure to share with you the work of Naomi Aldort.  Please visit us again in a few days to read Part 2 of this interview.

Heidi Ahrens

If you have stories on how your parenting strategies came in handy during one of your outdoor adventures, please share them with us on Outdoorbaby.net

These two excerpts from Alfie Kohn’s book Unconditional Parenting are great advice for any parent:

To treat children respectfully means making an effort to avoid doing these things [these things: sarcasm, sounding snide, dismiss feelings, interrupting, trivialize fears] but it also means realizing that children are more knowledgeable about some matters than we are--and I don't just mean that they know which dinosaurs were meat-eaters.  Thomas Gordon said it well:  "Children sometimes know better than parents when they are sleepy or hungry; know better the qualities of their friends, their own aspirations and goals, how their various teachers treat them; know better the urges and needs within their bodies, whom they love and whom they don't, what they value and what they don't."  In any case, we can't always assume that because we're more mature we necessarily have more insight into our children than they have into themselves. ( Kohn, p.125)

and

To focus on children's needs, and to work with them to make sure their needs are met, constitutes a commitment to taking children seriously.  It means treating them as people whose feelings and desires and questions matter.  A child's preferences can't always be accommodated, but they can always be considered and they need never be dismissed out of hand.  It's important to see a child as someone with a unique point of view, with very real fears and concerns (often quite different from our own), and with distinctive way to reasoning (which is not merely "cute"). (Kohn, p.119)

From Alfie Kohn’s website www.alfiekohn.com:

Traditional Parenting doesn’t work but what does?

This Q&A from Alfie Kohn’s  website addresses some common questions about his book and his approach to parenting.

Q. Aren't there enough parenting books on the market already?

A. Well, yes and no. I think you're right that there are more than enough guides whose purpose is to get kids to do whatever they're told. Most parenting books and articles are filled with techniques designed to produce mindless obedience in children. But the authors very rarely ask parents to rethink their basic assumptions, or to consider how these techniques for changing behavior - you know, for getting kids to stop being rude or start using the potty, or whatever - might actually get in the way of our long-term goals, like wanting our children to grow into responsible, caring, happy people. There aren't nearly enough books that encourage parents to ask what their kids need - and how to meet those needs. Also, in my opinion, there aren't enough books for general readers that look at what research says about these issues.

Q. All right, let's start with that last part, then. What does the research say?

A. First of all, it says that the question isn't whether we love our children, but how we love them. Specifically, what matters is whether we love them unconditionally. They shouldn't have to earn our approval. Kids need us to love them for who they are, not for what they do. Our affections, in other words, shouldn't depend on their being well behaved, or getting good grades, or doing well at sports, or anything else. Unconditional love from parents is what allows kids to accept themselves as fundamentally good people, even when they screw up or fall short.

Q. But don't you think most parents would say they already love their kids unconditionally?

A. Sure. But what matters is whether the kids themselves feel loved in that way. Often they don't, particularly if we punish them for being bad - such as by using what psychologists call "love withdrawal" techniques, like time-out. Same thing if we reward or praise them, giving them what amounts to a doggie biscuit for pleasing us. Neither threats nor bribes work very well, you know, especially over the long haul. At best, they produce only temporary obedience. And in the process they do a lot of harm -- for example, by teaching children that they have to jump through hoops for us to love them. Some kids become anxious as a result, some depressed, some angry. Some stop looking to us for guidance and don't spend time with us when they're old enough to have a choice. Some feel they have to pretend to be someone they're not, so their parents will love them --

Q. Wait a minute. Aren't you criticizing the kind of discipline that most of us use all the time?

A. You bet. But let me immediately make it clear that if we've been relying on strategies that backfire, it's not because we're stupid or because we don't care about our kids. In fact, I spend a whole chapter explaining how we're "conditioned to be conditional" - that is, why we keep falling into the trap of using bribes and threats even though they don't really help, and even though most of us, as ex-kids, know from the other side how it feels to be treated that way. Yet sometimes we see ourselves doing, and hear ourselves saying, the exact same things that we were on the receiving end of, once upon a time - which is what I call "How did my mother get into my larynx?"

You know, parents often say to me: "I've used time-outs, I've taken away privileges, I've praised them when they're good, I've done all the things the books tell me to do, but none of it works." What I'm trying to do in Unconditional Parenting is help these folks understand that those techniques, which are indeed the staples of conventional discipline, are actually part of the problem! The trouble isn't with your kids; it's with what you've been talked into doing to your kids.

Q. So what are you proposing instead? Do we need to be more permissive? Because, you know, a lot of people think that parents are too permissive as it is, and that kids could, quite frankly, use a little more control.

A. Let me answer that in two ways. First of all, the real problem today isn't permissiveness. It's the fear of permissiveness. We're so afraid of spoiling our kids that we err in the opposite direction. I mean, sure, I've been annoyed by screaming children in restaurants whose parents don't lift a finger to intervene, but for every example like that, there are hundreds of examples of children who are restricted unnecessarily, yelled at, threatened -- basically bullied by their parents. Spend some time at a playground or a birthday party, you'll see what I mean. The real parenting epidemic in our society is the tendency to overcontrol children. And, by the way, liberal, educated parents tend to use techniques that are less crude but no less controlling.

My second point, though, is that I'm not arguing for more permissiveness. Kids don't need us to back off and let them do whatever the hell they want, any more than they need us to control them. That's a false dichotomy, and I reject both options. The real alternative to doing things to kids is to work with them.

Q. And your book shows us how?

A. The second half is brimming with concrete suggestions, which are organized around three central ideas: how to help kids feel unconditionally loved even when we have to say no to them; how to get in the habit of imagining the way what we say and do appears from the child's point of view; and how to give kids more opportunities to make choices. Because, after all, children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions.

I like to think of the book as both practical and idealistic because it offers strategies for helping kids to grow into psychologically healthy people, not just for getting them to do what they're told. I think we all need to become more mindful of what we're doing, and its long-range implications for our children's development, rather than just operating on autoparent. I guess you could say my goal is to inspire the reader to become a better parent by building on what he or she already cares about.

Q. If you don't mind my asking, are you a parent?

A. I am. I have a 9-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son, and my book contains plenty of stories about them. In fact, my thinking about these topics has been influenced by being a Dad as much as by all the studies I've analyzed. Fortunately, real-life experience and scientific data tend to point in the same direction, that is, toward "working with" strategies, unconditional parenting, and --

Q. And your kids don't test limits?

A. Well, if you're asking whether there have been days I've run out of patience, the answer is, Of course! But, you know, I have my doubts about that phrase "testing limits." It's often used as a justification for parents to punish - that is, to make kids suffer in order to teach them a lesson. I suspect that, by misbehaving, what children are really testing is the unconditionality of our love. My hunch is that they're acting in unacceptable ways to see if, at some point, we'll stop accepting them. And we have to reassure them: No matter what you do, no matter how frustrated I get, I will never, never, never stop loving you. Of course, at the same time, we have to teach, explain, provide guidance, set a good example, solve problems together, and all that other good stuff.

Q. Tell me more about when you run out of patience.

A. You mean, with my own kids?

Q. Right.

A. Well, one time I remember I bought tickets for a local children's theater production of The Wizard of Oz so I could take my daughter, who was wild about the movie. The day before the show, she threw a world-class temper tantrum about something and, I've got to tell you, I came this close to threatening her with not going to see the play unless her behavior improved. I had to remind myself that if I gave in to that temptation I'd have been using the outing as an instrument of control rather than as an expression of love. We can't have it both ways.

Q. Interesting. And, since your book draws on research as well as experience, how about describing one study for us, to go with your story?

A. OK, here's one I thought was interesting. It's based on the premise that, even though kids don't always gravitate to the healthiest foods, they do, even as babies, tend to consume as much food as they need. They may eat very little one day but then make up for it the next. Or, rather, they do that unless we try to run their bodies for them. Two nutritionists found that parents who try to make their children eat only during mealtimes (rather than when they're hungry), or who encourage them to clean their plates (even when they obviously aren't hungry), or who use dessert as a reward tend to wind up with kids who lose the natural ability to regulate their caloric intake. You see what I mean? When the parents are overcontrolling, the children stop trusting their bodies' cues. What's true of food, by the way, is true of other things, too, like ethics: Too much control by us means too little opportunity for them to develop internal regulation.

Q. So you've written … what? The anti-discipline book?

A. Um, I don't know if I'd put it that way. It's not just about discipline - it's about the ways we think about, feel about, and act with our kids. I'm trying to invite readers to question their most basic assumptions about raising children, to reconnect to their own best instincts. And I want to offer them practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" parenting to "working with" parenting - including how to replace conditional-love practices like positive reinforcement with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.

We hope you have enjoyed learning more about unconditional parenting. In the next month, we will be bringing you more interviews from parenting and outdoor family experts.

Here is a link to our Outdoorbaby.net Q and A with Alfie Kohn.

Heidi Ahrens

Do you have outdoor parenting tips to share with us?  Log on to OutdoorBaby.net and share your thoughts.

We had the opportunity to converse with Alfie Kohn through correspondence.

Why do you think so many families are in need of guidance and have lost touch with what it means to be a parent?

To say they’ve lost touch is to imply they once had it.  That may be true for some people but not for others.  It may be that parenting is harder today than it once was or that parents have been led to distrust their instincts more than used to be the case.  Then again it may be that parents are more open today to soliciting advice and that’s a good thing because parents of yesteryear needed help, too, but were reluctant to ask for it.  What matters most, I think, is what kind of guidance parents are likely to get when they do ask.  If it’s just more techniques for making kids do whatever they’re told, then we still have a problem.

Do you think a large part of the issue is the way that the American schooling system has been created around a culture of consumerism, passivity and rote learning?

I think those are bad things, but if by “the issue” you’re referring to the reasons parents may be struggling, then I’d have to be convinced that there’s a cause-and-effect relationship.

Do you think that technology or what society accepts as proper child behavior and proper parent behavior has a negative effect on parents and children and that for these reason families are experiencing more issues that need more intervention?

I don’t have the expertise to comment usefully on the role of technology.  As for social norms regarding children and parenting, yes, I do believe they help to drive a mindset where short-term compliance (which we try to secure through bribes and threats) eclipses the question of what helps kids to become good people.  I write about those norms, along with other explanations, in a chapter in Unconditional Parenting called “What Holds Us Back?”

What do you think the important next steps are to make sure that more parents take more time to be with their children, taking the time to experience real things with their kids, like spending time outdoors, playing, discovering, asking questions, etc?

There’s a bunch of problems here, each with its own set of possible causes.  Many parents don’t have enough time for their children (or for themselves) because of work-related demands.  If you have to work two jobs, if there’s more pressure on employees at each of those jobs, then we’re talking about issues that go well beyond a philosophy of parenting.  The mindset that parents adopt when they are with their children, such as an openness to discovering the world together and playing, touches on all kinds of beliefs that parents may have about raising and educating kids – beliefs that correlate with social class and parents’ own level of education, incidentally.  Then again, parents of all classes may be so focused on their children’s achievement – in the narrowest sense of that word – that they overlook the other kinds of development that need to be supported:  emotional, social, artistic, physical, and so on.  Finally, if schools are forcing children to work what amounts to a second shift after they get home – despite the lack of evidence that homework is beneficial – that’s going to cut into time for other good stuff and stoke parents’ insecurities.

What would you say to families who are totally dedicated to one specific parenting style and can’t see how other methods may be more effective or that others’ way of doing things may also be valid? 

That depends on how broadly or narrowly we’re defining “parenting style.”  If we mean this in a narrow sense of specific strategies, then I agree with what I take to be the premise of your question:  We ought to be open to challenging ourselves to try new possibilities.  But if what I describe as “working with” parenting – where the point is to solve problems together rather than doing things TO children to make them obey us – is the style someone has in mind, then I’d have to be convinced that a different, more traditional and authoritarian, style is ever beneficial.  I’m not a relativist who believes that anything we do with kids is legitimate, and being respectful and unconditionally loving are just options that work for some people, while other people prefer a different way.  I think all children deserve those fundamental approaches.  But there’s an enormous range of possibilities within those basic approaches.

You have suggested that parents tend to say No far too often and have recommended that they offer choices instead.  Can you say more about that?

In Unconditional Parenting I suggest that parents try not to “stick their no’s in unnecessarily.”  I think we say no far too often, partly for our own convenience and partly because of our exaggerated fear of permissiveness.  But it’s hard for me to imagine never saying no, and that’s certainly not a stance I’ve ever advocated....    I think what’s most important, though, is to avoid falling into that familiar false dichotomy:  either we never say no and let kids do whatever they want, or we revert to traditional patterns of control (in the name of “limits” and “boundaries”)....    What I try to do is suggest other possibilities altogether.

Are boundaries important?  Not only in life threatening situation, but to live well in a society?

Yes, but.  The first “but”:  we want kids to participate in thinking about those boundaries so they can become responsible decision makers rather than assuming a boundary is something that must be imposed ON them.  The late Thomas Gordon, of Parent Effectiveness Training fame, said it well:  The question isn’t whether limits and rules are sometimes necessary; it’s “who sets them – the adults alone or the adults and kids together.”  The second “but” is that smooth functioning in our society as it currently exists – adaptation, if you will – is commonly used as a justification for all manner of control-oriented parenting and schooling.  I worry a bit about kids who can’t cope with compromise and make their way in the world.  I worry a lot more about the far greater number of people who do nothing but compromise, who accept our social norms and institutions as “just the way life is” and raise their kids to fit in rather than to question and work to make change where it’s needed.

Here at OutdoorBaby.net, we work hard at promoting the idea that spending time outdoors with our children is healthy and enables families to grow positively together.  We use the outdoors as a vehicle to teach children about the different skills needed to be successful in life.  Nature is a great teacher.  Speaking with Alfie Kohn, who is not an expert on outdoor activities with children, was for us a way to underscore the broader truth that raising children and providing them with rich life experiences takes thought, dedication, love and reflection.  In this interview Alfie Kohn shares with all of you some of his ideas on how we can work towards creating positive environments for our children.  We realize that even if children never spend a minute outdoors with their parents, but that they are supported, listened to and loved, they will continue to be the wonderful persons they were born to be.

In our next article we will publish an excerpt from Alfie Kohn’s book Unconditional Parenting and a previously published interview that introduces readers to the basic ideas that he presents in his book.

Alfie Kohn’s books are available anywhere books are sold and more information can be found at www.alfiekohn.org

Heidi Ahrens

Share your outdoor parenting strategies on OutdoorBaby.net

There are many classic books that were part of our lives growing up that maybe gave us some creative impetus to step outdoors, but for our children, the message is creeping into unlikely places.  First of all, Dora the Explorer explores with a talking map and her face can be seen on underwear and diapers.

Now, here is a sneak peak at some of the latest products that try to attract us nature loving families:

• American Girl ‘s Girl of the Year is Lanie. She’s an energetic girl who discovers the world in her own backyard.  She is sponsored by Be Out There from the National Wildlife Federation.

• Crayola launched  a new initiative with  Dan O’Brien’s record breaking achievement (Olympic gold medal decathlete Dan O’Brien broke the Guinness World Record for the fastest game of hopscotch with a time of 1:21.63.).  He helped kick off Crayola’s nationwide wellness campaign called the Crayola “Outdoor Challenge,” an initiative aimed at inspiring families to spend more time outside exercising their bodies and minds.  As part of the campaign, Crayola is asking families to pledge time each day to outdoor creative play this summer. The national goal is to reach one million hours of pledged outdoor play time for the campaign.  Running now through the end of the summer, parents can to take the pledge at Crayola.com and find dozens of outdoor games and activities that keep kids’ imaginations and bodies active.

• Sesame Street featured Jason Mraz in a song about stepping outdoors:  Link to YouTube Video
  

• For a bit of humor here is a link to a Hello Kitty Chain Saw.  Now maybe your pink princess will step outside and help you cut down some lumber: 

To me it seems like all these products have one thing in common.  They are used inside!

Over nine million American children are overweight, will outdoor themed products inspire this generation of children to do more physical activities and to step outdoors?  Only time will tell.

Heidi Ahrens

Share your stories and ideas on OutdoorBaby.net

Watch this video by Healthy Child's new video drives the point home: Chronic childhood illnesses like asthma and autism are linked to the 80,000 chemicals in cosmetics and household cleaners that have never been checked for safety.

A few events are taking place

• The American Camp Association is hosting a gathering of Camp professionals in Denver February 16-19, 2010.  To register for this National Conference follow this link.

• Mountain Khakis is presenting MOG Outdoor gear sale and COPMOBA Bike Swap in Grand Junction, Colorado April 10th, 2010.  The public is welcome to attend.  To have a booth contact Jen Taylor and visit the MOGoutdoorfest website.

Environmental Literacy included in Obama's new Education Budget: Historic First

We just logged a major victory for No Child Left Inside Act, perhaps our most significant.  President Obama’s budget that was released yesterday includes environmental literacy in the U.S. Department of Education budget for the very first time.  We now have the Obama administration officially on our side, and better yet, in their budget. President Obama and Secretary Duncan have made innovation and student achievement a major platform of the Obama Administration and as a result have included environmental literacy in a new program.

Organization worth looking into:

Interview with Inner City Outings Co-chair aired on KPBS on January 25^th, 2010

Website about outdoor activities for kids:

What do you do outdoors?  Koolkin.com

Article you may be interested in:

Wend Magazine Blog I't time to get outdoors baby about OutdoorBaby.net

News:

US Surgeon General Advocates Outdoor Play

Help out:

Haitians urgently need more tents.  If you have any large family tents donating them may help families in great need.

If you are not familiar with the WOR, it is a very large gathering of all the leading manufacturers of outdoor gear, wannabees and small companies that gather to meet, party, sell, sell and beat each other at the race of the best latest gear to hit the outdoor scene.

Yeah, I am the paper bag princess who fell in love with dirt and all its simplicity, of not washing for twenty days on a semester-long Outward Bound trip, the one who said no to the charming tennis short wearing prince and found an unshaven, stinky, very badly dressed, grungy bum to live my life with.  I also left the big city for the small village life of mountain towns in Colorado and started a website.

And yes, now I am the one who loves the gear and looks for the best outdoorsy fashion out there.  Who hopes to come across the latest product that will make me and my website outdoorbaby.net the most famous and sought after for information for outdoorsy parents.  I even transformed my husband into a shaven, clean (sometimes two showers a day), pretty handsome dresser.

A few days ago I posted my top ten No-No list for Winter Outdoor Retailers (WOR).

Here is my Yes, oh, Yes, yes Give Me MORE list:

1.      Shoes:

These days our favorite shoes are Keen.  Can you realize my disappointment when I went to their showcase to be presented with some bla, bla teaching about each of their new boots? I almost took my shoes off right there . Then, somehow the whole thing was saved by the appearance of Keen’s CEO, James Curleigh, who talked with animation about the company’s vision (yeah, I know the things that excite me) and it made me realize that we are all humans trying to make it.  Maybe I will move to Portland just to hear him speak or to have all his staff go crazy over the cuteness of my daughter.

2.      Knives or understanding:

I had a lot of meetings to go to and many body parts to take care of.  I was late to some meetings, and missed some completely.  Patrick who represents Wenger, was the one person who truly got it when I ran into his booth and said I had to go, my younger daughter was melting down and the older one, even though she had just vomited two times, would not leave the show floor.

3.      Inner Peace:

Do you remember me 14 years ago, Prana, when I called you and convinced you that you should give New York City Outward Bound a pro deal? Well, I remember because I am probably the only employee that bought a whole bunch of stuff through you.  Anyways, when I visited your booth to say hello to my contact, your staff was so relaxed and unfazed by my crazy too much fluorescent lights and taking care of two children look.  August smiled at me, someone else gave my daughter some tea, while I just breathed a little. Then, I realized what I needed to do.  I went upstairs and visited Prana’s rejuvenation room, put down my six month old for a nap and did some mommy and me yoga with older daughter Cora.

4.      Smiles

To be greeted, taken care of and treated like one of the big ones is so wonderful.  People like Maura at Soar Communications and all the different vendors that take people like me seriously even though I come to meetings with children in tow and a dirty shirt.  Like, Kerri from Cascade Designs, that remembered ME, yes ME, from last year even though we did not have a chance to meet.

5.      Free stuff

I am still waiting for the free car, iPhone or computer since all three of these items are either missing from my life or on the way out the door.  But come on; it is so great that when you work so hard and are really trying that someone recognizes your children and hands them a cute water bottle (thank you Sigg)

6.      Hot girls:

There are many cute athletic men walking around WOR and for some reason there are also these made up, non outdoorsy looking girls walking around some of the booths…  So, high five to these women who batted eye lids at my husband  (or so he thought -- maybe it was meant for  our infant daughter) and confirmed that he is really cute....

and thank you to Royal Robin’s tattooed, dyed hair barista who gave me  FREE LATTES ( at the moment we have budgeted a once a week latte for this family, so you really added luxury to our tour), and an image of someone I can live vicariously through  (I really don’t see very many cool looking people these days).

7.      Mellow atmosphere:

If this show case was a technology show or a gun show I am sure that I would have been so discouraged and stressed out by the end of it.  Everyone was so relaxed and a general sense of camaraderie was in the air (for the most part; see also my No No list).  I think that it has to do with the fact that most of these people spend time outdoors and exercise their bodies on a regular basis.

8.      Helping hand:

People who help out are always great.  I was able to leave my daughters at the Colorado Rocky Mountain School’s booth on different occasions so that I could walk around unaccompanied.  It was great to visit the bathroom alone and to know that my daughters were either sleeping or climbing or playing with the slack line.

Stay tuned for my two other 2010 Winter Outdoor Retailer ( WOR) articles.  I am sure they will be as serious as this piece.

Heidi