Part I of interview

After my talk with Lenore I emailed her a few questions and this is what she had to say:

"By the way, I hate hand sanitizers, too. I think of them as part of the Howard Hughes-ification of parenting: Things that would have been seen as obsessive compulsive a generation ago that have become "normal" now. (Like bringing your own placemats to a restaurant. And shopping cart liners, too!)

"That being said: What my book tries to do is honor the fact that as parents, we are all trying to do our best. We get so much conflicting advice on how to do everything EXACTLY right (as if!) that it's nice to remind ourselves that humanity has come this far with some really, really different ideas of what is healthy, unhealthy, edible, inedible, sane, insane and yet here we are: a very evolved species. (Did you know, for instance, that a U.S. gov't pamphlet  from about 100 years ago warned parents NOT to play with their babies as this was "over stimulating"? Advice will always change!)

"One of my favorite "tips" in the book is to visit with the children of some folks whose parenting style you find absolutely nuts. (Perhaps relatives!) Parents with a fridge full of junk food, say, OR parents who don't let their kids watch The Simpsons. Whatever. Something you would never do. Talk to their kids and you will probably find that they've still got a spark to them. You may like them more than their parents! We really can't totally ruin our kids, no matter what our personal style -- even a childhood of mac and cheese -- so long as it's not abusive. (And I certainly know the children of some really unhealthy eaters who became healthy eaters once they left the home.)

"So if there's something that you avoid because you can't stand it (hand sanitizers, non-organic milk), that's fine. So long as it's not interfering with your child's ability to become independent and responsible and embrace the world -- your parenting style is up to you. I'd just remember, at the same time, that parents who do use the sanitizer, or give their kids non-organic food, are not irresponsible. It's just like they have a different religion.

"I hope that Free-Range transcends those differences and just asks parents to try to recognize their children's competence, recognize the real world we live in (rather than the one we see on TV) and recognize that the biggest gift we can give our kids is to let them know we believe in them. And show it by letting them do some things on their own.

"Well, I think this sums up the idea of Free Range parenting."

Some good thoughts.

Heidi